Davy Jones for Mayor

Upon assuming the title of, Davy Jones XLV, Sovereign Emperor of the bottom of the sea, lord of all the lands between the tides, Divine oracle of the great god Poseidon, Master of everything that sinks & floats, I knew I was in for some fun.

As the Davy, my primary job was to ensure good weather. Otherwise, I am promptly thrown into the nearest body of water! Well, I had a near perfect record. Only one operation all year long got rained on. That was the Issaquah parade. We all got so wet that there was no point in throwing me in anywhere. When asked for my secret of success intervening with the weather Gods, my answer is always the same. Be a Davy during an El Nino year!

The Pirates being the Pirates, we’re always looking for ways to have fun. The fall of 1997 was an election year. For the first time in over 12 years, there was no incumbent running for Mayor of Seattle. Now, nothing pleases a Pirate more, than to be able to tweak the nose of the establishment. So, there was only one thing to do. Run Davy Jones XLV for Mayor.

This started out as a joke. One day, DC Smith said, “hey, the Pirates ran a Davy Jones for mayor in the 1950’s. We should do it again.” The next thing I know, DC has very LARGE campaign signs created. The pirates carried them in the parades. The crowds chanting, “Davy Jones, Davy Jones.”

So why did I decide to really run for mayor? We were doing the Chinatown parade. All the politicians running for office were there riding convertibles. We all start from the same spot, so as they pulled out, I’d run up to their cars and offer to sell them my supporters. One of the serious mayoral candidates looked at me, looked over at the pirates with the campaign signs, looked back at me with a look of terror, and sputtered, “But, but you’ll get a lot of votes!”

That clinched it right there. The pirates all took up a collection to raise the entry fee. The next Friday, August 1, we all marched down to the King County Elections Office and we filed. I was now an official candidate for Mayor, City of Seattle. We were met by a photographer from the Seattle Post Intelligencer. The next day, on the front page of the P.I., in full-color, “Davy Jones for Mayor.”

I was the candidate from the Seafair Pirates Plank Party. “If you don’t like us, take a walk,” was our motto. In public, I referred to my supporters as “The Merry Planksters.”

Now you can imagine the effect this had on the established politicians. There were eleven candidates for mayor: five “serious” candidates, and six “fringe” candidates. Needless to say, I was the only pirate in the race. And the best dressed.

By now, the established candidates are quaking in their boots. Terrified of a pirate victory, they conspire against me. But in a battle of Pirate wits, they were unarmed! Appearing at mayoral forums in all my splendor, and accompanied by the Merry Planksters, we carried the campaign forward using a rapier wit to unmask the dullards for what they were. The local press loved us; children wanted to be us. Paul Schell even stole my earrings!

We campaigned all over town. At every home Seahawk game; we were there. Forums large and small; we were there! And what was my platform? Simple ; potholes, privies, parking and patronage. We filled potholes around town with recycled fruitcake; we put porta-potties in the back of pickup trucks and drove them around downtown with a sign saying, “heads will roll.” I offered to privatize parking, selling it to the highest bidder. And, I wanted to bring back patronage. What kind of pirate would I be if I didn’t put patronage back where it belongs, back into the mayor’s office.

Primary night came. I got 650 votes. But, hey, this was not about getting votes. This was about getting out the vote. The Seattle Seafair Pirates are a community service organization. Nothing is more in our charter than to encourage participation in our local elections. It’s about getting involved in your community. And hopefully, someone may have come out and voted because of us.

Watch out. The Plank Party will rise again. All Merry Planksters will be called to duty. And I can’t imagine a way to have more fun than that. -

Jim Guilfoil • Davy Jones XLV


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