Pirate Patterson's Pirate Recipes

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Hog Wild For Pork

Pork Loin, Back Ribs

Recipe 000709 © Pirate Bill "Turtle" Patterson - used with permission

"The back ribs shall consist of at least 8 ribs and related intercostal meat from a loin. The back rib sections shall be intact and the bodies of the thoracic vertebrae shall be removed except that small portions of the vertebrae may remain between the rib ends. When specified, the "skin" (peritoneum) shall be removed from the inside surface of the ribs and the intercostal meat."

The Meat Buyers Guide, NAMP,1992

Okay, what does all that mean?

Well, I'll tell 'ya. It means $5.99 per pound, that's what it means! $4.99 if you are lucky! We're not talking about those "country style spareribs" either; we're talking about back ribs or baby back ribs as they are sometimes called (although they are not one and the same).

Ribs, GOOD ribs, could possibly be the most American of all so-called American foods. Whether they are of Afro-American origin (as is generally suggested) or not is up to debate. Frankly, I don't care. But I will tell you this; for generation upon generation it was southern Black culture that devised ingenious ways to prepare throw away foods into American classics.

Classic Southern foods such as ham hocks, chitterlings, pigs feet, black-eyed peas, collard greens and yes, ribs are inextricably etched into the American psyche and part of our collective, melting-pot heritage. I don't know for sure if it was Charles Barkley's ancestors that came up with all this stuff, but I do know this: it wasn't Jerry Seinfeld's ancestors!

But I digress. The finest ribs I ever ate came from the now defunct Wild Boar Soul BBQ located at 25th and Cherry in Seattle's Central District over twenty years ago. The finest chicken I ever ate came from the same restaurant. The joint was operated by a Mr. Beale or Beal, I forget the proper spelling along with the man's first name. (If by chance you are reading this Sir, I most humbly apologize.) And the place was truly a "joint."

Five maybe six tables was all the space could accommodate due mainly to the size of the hand built brick oven/smoker that filled the kitchen. Along side the smoker were stacks of seasoned hickory that fed the smoldering fire and succulent meats within.

A tattered piece of ruled paper taped to the customer side of the cash register listed what must have been the Holy Grail of barbecue sauce recipes. Fool that I am, I never bothered to copy the recipe. In retrospect, however, I am glad that I didn't. Neither I nor anyone else could have duplicated that recipe with the same precision, love or integrity that Mr. Beale (or Beal) did. And so it should remain a soothing memory instead of a soulless list of ingredients. I have never really tried to duplicate those incredible ribs that I enjoyed at the Wild Boar either. They should remain as an unattainable perfection.

Instead, I decided to take another approach. Dry rubbed and Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whisky soaked; I give you-

AUNT RUTH'S DRUNKEN RIBS

Dedicated to my Aunt Ruth, these ribs were the signature dish of a restaurant I was a partner in several years ago.

I will give the basic ingredients and the technique employed but not the exact recipe for it is a closely guarded secret. These ribs were without question the most popular item on our menu and if you follow the basic process I think you will enjoy them as well.

You will need the following:

2 full racks of pork back ribs. "Baby back" ribs will weigh less than 1 3/4 lb. per full rack and have 10-14 ribs. Larger racks work quite nicely. You can even use the St. Louis style ribs that have part of the breast portion attached.
GOOD BOURBON. I have always used Maker's Mark but George Dickel 12 year old is sensational, if you can find it. Jim Beam works just fine if you are on a budget and don't have any use for quality Bourbon outside of this recipe. You can even buy 2 or 3 of those little airline bottles at the liquor store if you do not drink Bourbon.
Light brown sugar.
Granulated garlic, NOT GARLIC SALT.
BBQ spices, the kind at the grocery store work just fine.
Cayenne pepper.
Good quality commercial BBQ sauce. KC Masterpiece (original) is terrific. If you have a favorite or prefer your own, then by all means use it. I use one that isn't too smokey because I like the taste of the bourbon and other spices to shine through.

Lets start with the ribs.

Choose the smallest back ribs you can find. The bones shouldn't be any bigger around than the pinkie of a beautiful woman. If you don't have access to a beautiful woman to make the comparison then I suppose any woman will do as long as she doesn't have hands the size of garbage can lids.
Some disreputable butchers will take a larger rack of ribs and saw through them lengthwise and create two smaller racks of ribs. This is the practice of certain large, corporate meat packer types and, being the epitome of Christian gentility, I shall not comment on them in these pages. They are scum sucking fart bags. Oops.
Incidentally, there is a national brand of back ribs that you can find in the grocery store that are "guaranteed tender." Look at the package CAREFULLY. These ribs have been INJECTED with a solution that tenderizes the meat. DON'T BUY THESE RIBS!! The wretched flavor of these ribs can only be described as FRIGHTENING.
You will find on the inside or concave portion of the ribs some excess fat and the aforementioned peritoneum. Trim away the fat and, using your fingernails, peel the thin translucent "skin" off the back of the ribs. It should come off like plastic post-office tape.
Underneath the peritoneum will be a thin layer of "silver skin" that covers the rib meat. With a small sharp knife make shallow slits into but not through the meat between the rib bones. This will allow the meat to absorb more flavor as they cook and make them more tender as well.
Put the rib racks in a shallow baking pan, stainless, 'natch, but Pyrex will work if it is large enough. I find that a pan that is too deep doesn't work as well for cooking, so if you need to you can marinate the ribs in one pan and roast them on a cookie sheet if necessary.
Brush the ribs all over with a generous quantity of booze, maybe 2 ounces per rack and allow them to wallow in the stuff for about 30 to 45 minutes, turning occasionally.

While that is going on, make your dry rub.

DRY RUB

I have read that this is a Carolina treatment for ribs. I am not a food historian and therefore not qualified to say for certain. There are many, many types of BBQ styles and they all seem to have some kind of geographical attachment. I'm not sure if it really matters as long as you are happy with the results.

The dry ingredients listed above are in descending order of quantity. Use your own taste to decide how much of each. That is all I am going to say. There are several different kinds of dry rub recipes you could also use if you prefer and you may. You toad.

Mix the dry ingredients thoroughly and "rub" them into the ribs
Let dry marinate for another twenty minutes or so. Some of the dry rub will melt in the booze so give the ribs another dusting if necessary. It is important that the dry rub stick to the ribs.
Roast the ribs in a VERY, VERY SLOW oven, perhaps 200-225 degrees for about 1 1/2 hours turning them once.
After the initial roasting, remove the ribs from the oven and cut down between the bones about half way.
Sauce the ribs fairly liberally and return to the oven for about another hour, turning and brushing occasionally to redistribute the sauce.

At this point the ribs are ready to eat. The meat should come off the bone rather easily with a slight tug from your teeth. The meat should not have that caramelized, too-much-time-in-the-warming-oven flavor and it should NOT "fall off the bone." If it does, then it has been overcooked.

I don't care what anyone says! Meat should taste like meat, not the oven. If the meat comes off the bone CLEANLY with a slight tug and doesn't end up on your shirt, then the ribs are perfectly cooked.

Serve these ribs with collard greens sautéed in bacon fat, red beans and rice, maybe some homemade cornbread with slabs of chilled butter and honey, corn on the cob (duh!!) and wash it all down with iced tea.

It is, in fact, OUR HERITAGE, so belly up to the table and eat hearty!

XOXOXO TURTLE


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