Arrrrr, matey, don't miss your chance to misbehave with the Seafair Pirates! Dig for treasure, seize fair maidens, capture Spanish galleons, bury chests of gold, wear big gold earrings in both ears (or wherever you damn well please). Teach your parrot surefire pickup lines to impress damsels in bars and grog halls. ("Polly want a phone number!") Who can resist a pirate? (They don't call him Long John Silver for nothing.) Ease your commute by anchoring your man-o'-war in Elliott Bay, then pillage tourists and plunder downtown Seattle businesses to your black heart's content. (Note: Desperate, bloodthirsty, unemployed dot-commers may be willing to sign up for crew even without having to slip them a Mickey Finn.) Fire your cannon at unsuspecting pleasure boats and tourist vessels; sink the Duck. Wave cutlasses, wield sabers, and force the Seafair Clowns--loathsome losers!--to walk the plank.

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