By MARGO HORNER

The Mirror

They arrive in a cloud of cannon smoke, growling and dragging their swords.

They’re welcomed by shrieks of terror.

These pirates aren’t a thing of the movies. Some of them live here in Federal Way and love spending their days chasing small children, kidnapping beautiful women and raiding bars all across the Puget Sound area.

The Seafair Pirates make more than 200 scheduled appearances a year, said Doug Keuhne, a Federal Way pirate who goes by the nickname Barnacle.

Sunday, at the Kent Cornucopia Days Parade, the pirates were a favorite of the crowd.

For most.

At least a few children where frightened of the rowdy, hairy, weapon-clad men.

“They’re scary,” said 5-year-old Amelia Kraskouskas, who was clinging to her mother’s waist toward the back of the crowd, where it was safe.

“She’s terrified of them. One just gave her a lollipop too, I don’t know why,” said her mother, Bonnie Kraskouskas.

Corey Davis, 7, knows why.

“They got guns and they got swords,” he said. “They tried to cut off our toes.”

For the most part, though, the kids loved the pirates and the treasure they passed out to the crowd.

“If somebody doesn’t break into tears, it’s not a good day. That’s part of being a pirate,” Barnacle said. “You get a little sniffle and you pull out a coin and give it to them, and it turns into a smile.”

Being a Seafair Pirate isn’t all about terrorizing kids at parades, Federal Way pirate Kerry Dean said.

For parades, the pirates auction off rides on their ship, the Moby Duck. The proceeds go to charity.

Dean, however, insisted Sunday that the children on the ship were kidnapped.

When Dean isn’t busy cutting off toes to make “toe-foo,” or kidnapping children at parades, he’s helping the group raise money for various hospitals and charities.

Last year, the Seafair Pirates donated more than $250,000 to local charities and people in need.

“It’s all about community service to us,” he said.

During winter, the Pirates’ busiest season, the group collects toys for its Holiday Treasure Chest.

Last year, they collected more than 12,000 toys and distributed them to needy families.

Most of the time when pirates arrive with gifts, it’s a surprise, Barnacle said.

“It just touches my heart when I watch it. You see the joy that you brought somebody and it makes all the time worthwhile,” he said.

The volunteer organization isn’t all serious. When not making scheduled appearances, the Captain often takes the group on “raids” of local bars. The pirates drink, sing, dance, horseplay and just act like rowdy pirates.

“There’s rewarding and there’s fun, and the Seafair Pirates are both,” Federal Way pirate Mike Devine explained over a glass of Captain Morgan’s spiced rum.

Devine has known he was a pirate ever since he read about them as a small child in the book “The Pirate Don Dirk of Dowdee.”

Today, he gathers inspiration for his costumes and act from movies and comic books.

Luckily, he said, his job at Wizards of the Coast doesn’t mind that he wears a long goatee and hasn’t cut his hair since his wedding day three years ago.

Modern pirates

While the Seafair Pirates imitate legendary pirates of the 17th century, there are still real pirates prowling the sea today.

However, they don’t wear tricorn hats or shoot cannons.

According to howstuffworks.com, modern day pirates wear military fatigues, bear machine guns and carry out hundreds of attacks on boats each year.

They board ships with the same techniques as traditional pirates — using grappling hooks, ropes and poles to climb aboard.

They steal personal items such as cash, jewelry and electronics, and try to access the ship’s safe.

Most pirates attack in groups of five to 10 near the shores of Indonesia, Somalia and Bangladesh. They use small speedboats, guns and knives.

In 2005, there were 266 reports of pirate attacks, according to the International Maritime Association’s annual report. More than 600 crew members were reportedly taken hostage or kidnapped.

The most common targets are cargo ships, tankers and container ships that are anchored or berthed.

Piracy has grown in some areas because economic conditions are so poor that people have to resort to piracy, according to howstuffworks.com.

Because the countries are so poor, the governments don’t have the resources to respond to reports of piracy.