Voted “Most likely to be a detriment to society” Clapeye has spent the last decade in the company of the pirates.  Because of his naturally sunken chest, it’s readily apparent Clapeye was born to be  a pirate. A jack of many trades and not a one of them legitimate, he is usually regarded as raising the bar to its lowest possible level.  He is the epitome of the misguided gentleman of dubious character and morally loathsome means.  He takes pride in spinning the roughest of intents into the finest silken language with which to tickle the ears of the lasses, fill the hearts of his foes with terror, and to haunt the nightly dreams of children and the feeble-minded.


Over the years, he has risen through the ranks from Private Embarrassment to General Nuisance and in 2012,  “Claptain” Never has a Captain arrived to such low expectations and met every single one.  Having served (coffee) in the office for that year (+ 6 month’s for good behavior), he’s now earned the enviable rank (try to stand upwind) as past Captain.


Currently he resides wherever he can find willing thralls and cheap rum but has expanded his performance resume. He has been a finalist on American Idolater, appeared on Dancing with the  “Arrrr’s”, and was declared the winner of “Deadliest Ketch” due to his uniquely resistant strain of Scurvy.  You can catch him regularly at pirate functions and potentially fatally as he is both communicative as well as communicable.


Weapon of choice: Rapier sharp wit dulled by age and misuse.

Scariness factor: “He’s leering at us Margaret…hold your purse”


Lance “Clapeye” English

“Clap-tain” Kidd LXIII (Twice removed)

Club Secretary (twice removed)

Appendix and wisdom teeth (both removed)